The Book of Hoohah

Hypocrite.  1. A person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs. 2. A person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.

It isn't rocket science.  It isn't even a subject of advanced and complicated ethics. It's common sense.  If a person identifies as a member of a particular group but doesn't follow the tenets of faith of that group, they are a fraud.  People try to justify everything. 

Ok, so the Book of Hoohah says that true Dwarbles eat only green slugs, they never walk on the left side of the road, and their diety, The Great Spordal, will one day transport them to a mystical planet called Hemalobob, only, The Great Spordal doesn't even know when this will be. Only the head of the HR department on Hemalobob knows this information.  

So one day the Loptrolops, an offshoot of TMZ, happen to spot Prater Klueless, who identifies himself as a Dwarble, walk down the right side of the road and enter the Dashing Diner and order a plate of  green slugs. Excited about seeing the Prater in public, they send in a camera crew only to hear Prater Klueless  proclaiming that the Great Spordal is coming in 3 days at exactly 6pm Galactic Standard Time and that all Dwarbles need to be ready because he, Prater Klueless, has broken the secret code in the Book of Hoohah and has discovered the exact date and time the Great Spordal will transport all Dwarbles to Hemalobob. 

Only there is no secret code, and the Book of Hoohah clearly states that true Dwarbles eat only green slugs, they never walk on the left side of the road, and their diety, The Great Spordal, will one day transport them to a mystical planet called Hemalobob, only, The Great Spordal doesn't even know when this will be. Only the head of the HR department on Hemalobob knows this information.  


ERGO... it is obvious that Prater Klueless isn't the head of the HR department on Hemalobob. Is he  really a Dwarble after all, since he doesn't follow all of the required tenets of faith as set forth in the Book of Hoohah? He simply believes that he is a good Dwarble. He dresses like a Dwarble, he speaks like a Dwarble, he eats like a Dwarble, and he even walks like a Dwarble. BUT - note the definition of a hypocrite - "especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs."  Prater Klueless is nothing but an imposter - a poser, a HYPOCRITE.

The point of this story is simple - talking the talk isn't good enough.  If one is going to proclaim themselves a Dwarble (or a Christian, or a Pagan, or a Wiccan) then the walk has to be there as well as the talk. Just going through the motions is not going to cut it. As Dolly Parton once said, "tinkle or get off the potty."